


It'd be better

by lovelybandito



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, basically tommys thoughts during that one scene the other day, where he was looking at the lava
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelybandito/pseuds/lovelybandito
Summary: Tommy just wanted to go home.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 116





	It'd be better

**Author's Note:**

> tw // suicidal thoughts/ideation

Tommy stood back as he watched Ghostbur, Sapnap, and Dream stand inside the Nether Portal. “We’ll be back in a minute,” Dream said to him as he disappeared.

  
He can hear them talking about the Christmas tree that someone had made near the Community House.

  
Tommy just stood there, waiting.

  
With the three of them gone through the portal, his face dropped. He just wants to go with them, to go back home, to the place he remembers, the place he grew up in. But he’s not allowed. Despite the bit of fun they’d had earlier in the day, bantering like they used to before all the wars and fights, he was still exiled. Dream had specifically told him that if he goes through the portal he would kill him, permanently. He’d end up like Ghostbur.

Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?

  
Maybe it’d be better if he was gone?

  
He knows that he shouldn’t even be thinking like this. Seriously? Sure, he’s alone right now, well basically, Ghostbur doesn’t really count, but things will go back to how they were, right? Tubbo wouldn’t keep him exiled forever. I mean, the two of them have been best friends basically their entire lives.

  
But isn’t it his own fault that he’s alone? He was the one that pranked George’s house, which led to all of this.

  
After a few seconds of trying to stop his mind from spiraling he wanders over to the edge of the bridge. He wasn’t really thinking as he leaned over the lava.

  
Tommy didn’t hear the portal sound again as he stared out into the bubbling orange pit. He could just do it. Just jump. Would they even care? If he did it then he could go back home. Back to L’Manburg and his friends. Surely they’d let his ghost back, he’d be dead. When Wilbur died, Ghostbur wasn’t kept away, even after all he’d done to hurt L’Manburg.

  
The lava seemed to be calling out for him now.

  
It’d be for the best, right?

  
As he stood there, he closed his eyes. He tried to picture his life now, where he was alone, far away, versus life in New L’Manburg, where they were building up again, where all his friends were, and where he wanted to be.

  
Tommy felt a hand push him, shoving him towards the middle of the blackstone path.

Dream was looking at him, an odd expression in his eyes, a mix of indifference covering what could possibly be concern. Tommy watched Dream step back away from him.

  
He wouldn’t care. Dream is the reason Tommy was exiled, the reason he was sent out to the middle of nowhere. Hell, Dream was the one that took him out there and left him alone.

  
He stepped back towards the edge, not looking at the masked man standing inside the blackstone portal hub. He gazed down at the burning pool below him for a few seconds. He had almost made up his mind when Dream shoved him away from the edge again. Immediately, the man started to cover the edge with dirt.

  
“It’s not your time to die yet Tommy,” Dream said quietly. There was something in his voice that sounded sad, almost regretful. He then grabbed Tommy’s arm by the sleeve and started to drag him towards the path back to Logsteadshire.

  
“It’s never my time to die,” Tommy sighed. Maybe eventually he’ll make it back to L’Manburg. Maybe he’ll give up and lose his last life. Or maybe he’ll give up that dream of being home and just figure out how to survive alone. There are people on his side, people willing to help him, he knows that. But Tubbo, his best friend, didn’t seem to be anymore, and that’s what matters the most.

  
Tommy just wanted to go home.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm nervous about posting this because i've never done this before and it's not that good but i hope you enjoyed it. i usually come up with ideas and just never post but this time i forced myself to actually write and post (even though i'm doing this like 3 days after i wrote it)
> 
> please let me know what you thought


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